


Life Is Certainly A Complicated Thing

by Cheesus_X



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Death from Old Age, Friendzone, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Soulmates, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-01 11:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15141671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheesus_X/pseuds/Cheesus_X
Summary: Of course you can't control certain things in lifeSometimes things just don't go as plannedIt's simply hard to explain how tough it can be, especially in these cases including Antonio and Lovino





	1. Please, Never Fall In Love Again

I barged into the room where Francis and Gil were watching some show.

"I'm going to do it, _amigos_!"

"That's great Antonio, but do what exactly?" Francis asked quizzically as he turned to face me.

"Confess to Lovino! I've been working on this song for a while now and I think it would be great to use!" I was practically shouting due to all my excitement.

That really got a reaction out of the two of them, 'cause they both jumped from the couch. Before I knew it I was being pushed to the door by my best friends while being told to go on my 'love quest'.

~▪~▪~

As we had started getting closer to the park where I told Lovi to meet me I started feeling anxious and fearful. I think Gilbert noticed that when he looked over at me?

"Don't worry, Toni! Lovino will, for sure, accept the awesome confession!" Gil exclaimed with a pat on my back.

I nodded and flashed a smile, but I didn't exactly stop holding on to my guitar as though my life depended on it. As I got closer to the park itself I heard Francis say something along the lines of "We'll be going behind those bushes to supervise, Toni!"

It seems Lovi managed to get there before me once again! He may scold me for being late, but I certainly won't mind. Looks like he's also talking to someone? Oh! It's Emma! I didn't know she would be here?

" _HOL-_ " I had started walking faster and was going to greet them both, but I stopped abruptly as I saw Emma kiss Lovino.

When had they been a thing? Maybe...maybe Lovi didn't like her back? I hoped that he didn't, but as Emma was leaving he pumped his fist up in the air in triumph. Lovino Vargas didn't love me, at least not in the way I loved him.

Luckily, because of his celebrating, Lovino didn't see me. At this point, I didn't want him to see me anyway. I'm not that pretty when I cry, so I turned around and booked it. Sooner than later, Francis and Gil joined me back in the apartment where I had been curled up on the couch quietly sobbing.

"We know it didn't work out well, _mon amie,_ but maybe you should let him know that it turns out you actually couldn't got to the park today? Just so he doesn't get too angry at you." 

"Yeah, yeah I'll do that" I decided as I picked up my phone to text Lovi.

~~~

It's been a few years since then and honestly I still love Lovino. I guess I'm just someone who usually sticks to something for....forever? I chuckle quietly, oh well, it's fine as long as Lovi is alright.

"So how do you think I should propose to Emma?" Lovino says with a mildly worried look. Oh yeah, we were brainstorming ideas on how Lovi could propose...

"Hey, idiot, are ya listening?" Now he started sounding a bit annoyed.

"Of course! And I have a fantastic idea!" I say cheerfully while taking out a somewhat old paper. It was the song I wrote all those years ago. Who knew it would come in handy once again?

"What's this?" Lovi asks as he takes the paper once I had handed it over.

"It's a song I had written for ~~you~~...um...for...someone back in high school!" I added the last bit as quickly as I could hoping he wouldn't notice the falter in my voice.

"Uh-huh." Ouch, did he not believe I wrote it? Well, when he saw the Shrek DVD part I think he realized it indeed was my own song.

"I could play the guitar while you sing! ~~You're voice is like that of an angel after all...~~ " I suggested, ignoring my thoughts that I so badly wanted to blurt out.

"Yeah, yeah this could work" Lovi whispered adoringly with a small smile plastered on his face. I love when he smiles, it makes all of this worth it.

~~~

As I strummed the guitar while Lovi sang his song to Emma on one knee with a box held out to her, I thought of what the song meant to me now. I suppose that, for me, it's meaning is that I may never fall in love again. Not because I don't want to, but because it seems that I can't even though I have tried.

The song had ended and Emma, happily, said yes to Lovino. Now, as I silently clutch my guitar, I become aware of the pain in my chest. I quickly get up to leave before anyone remembers I'm here. Afterall, I'm not that pretty when I cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 notes:  
> So i see a lot of unrequited love where lovino is the one who's love isn't returned so i thought 'why not switch that around?'  
> Sorry if it's not great :P but i tried!!
> 
> (This chapter was inspired by a song which is called "Please Never Fall In Love Again" by Ollie MN)


	2. It's all over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to add on and increase the angst cause im nice  
> Anyway i saw a soulmate au idea that the last words ur soulmate says to you is what is written instead of the first words and thats how this thing was born
> 
> (This chapter will be in lovino's point of view)

I spent my days with Emma and I couldn't have been happier! She was my sunshine, I didn't go a single day without thinking of her. The words written on my wrist were a reminder of how she felt towards me too, "I love you, Lovi".

~~~

One tragic night, I had gotten a panicked call from Francis. Usually I would have ignored the wine bastard, but his voice was sincerely stricken with sorrow. He had clearly been sobbing, and still was, because it took him forever to spill out the words.

"Toni..Antonio...he's gone, _mon Dieu_ , he.." Francis tried to say with all the might he had left in him.

The rest was cut out by ringing in my ears when the word "suicide" flew out of Francis's mouth. My shock made me entirely speechless. This wasn't true, it couldn't be true...not...not Antonio...no.

~▪~▪~

His funeral was like a punch in my face telling me to acknowledge the reality that Antonio was gone. My best friend, who cared for me despite the fact that I tended to be a brat, was gone. This wasn't okay in the slightest no matter how many times Emma tried comforting me. It wasn't okay; I wasn't okay.

Approaching his casket, I noticed the words that remained on his wrist.

"I've lived long enough, maybe far too long"

It hurt me to think that Toni probably never got to meet his soulmate. That thought possibly increased the pain because suddenly it was suffocating to be in this room, so I left with tears streaming down my face.

~~~

Some few years had passed and Emma fell ill. I prayed every night hoping she would get well soon, because I could not take another heartbreak. The illness never left and instead it consumed her weakening body. 

While she lay in the hospital bed, breathing shakily, I held her hand. Emma has been trapped in this goddamn place for so long that I fear she has forgotten what the sky may even look like.

I'd say about 20 more minutes of peaceful silence passed until visiting hours were over. I got up to leave until Emma grabbed my hand gently and said,

"I'll be alright, don't worry so much"

Those words were the last things I heard from her, because later that night I had been informed Emma died in her sleep.

~~~

Crying was all I could do these days. No sleep, no rest of any kind, it was all taken up by my sobbing. Although, despite my grief, I managed to somewhat function properly.

Today, to comfort myself, I decided to bake sweets. The house felt so empty these days with my presence being the only one here. My thoughts wandered from one thing to another until I realized that my eyes landed upon the words on my wrist.

"I love you, Lovi"

They were comforting, but something seemed off. Then, in that exact moment, I came to the realization that those words were not the one's Emma had spoken.

That's...that can't be possible. I spent my entire life with Emma and enjoyed it! If she truly weren't my soulmate then...then wouldn't I have sensed it? Wouldn't there be some other sign? After forcing myself to calm down I started to attempt solving this.

Clearly it was someone who knew me if my name was there, but who?

It took me a while to realize how useless it was to try and figure it out if the words were to be my soulmates last line. Not only that, but my life with Emma had been good enough, so why bother with this?

~~~

Damn, bad luck really just loved going after me. I didn't ask to live this long, and in fact it was almost torturous. I lived long enough to watch everyone else die. Well, no more of this life because I had finally reached my limit.

I looked up to see the worried eyes of my neighbors. Two twins which I had seen grow up into respectable human beings. They often dropped by to see how I was doing and sadly they stopped by on the day that I would most certainly stop living.

"Maybe...maybe you'll be ok, Mr. Vargas?" One of them asked.

"Yeah! You're still strong afterall!" The other quickly added in.

I slowly shook my head, and looked at them for a while longer before deciding what to say,

"My time has come to an end kiddos, and if you truly care then, please, may I have these last moments alone?"

Tears were starting to form in their eyes, so quickly they nodded and took one final glance at me before exiting the house. They truly are great kids, which is why I didn't want them to see me take my last breath. I wasn't too sure if either of them could take the pain of losing someone. I know the feeling all too well...

I sighed while closing my eyes then continued talking but with a much softer voice due to the fact that no one else was around,

"I've lived long enough, maybe far too long"

Before I could fully process what I had said, everything seemed to slowly shut down in a peaceful manner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 notes:  
> Thats the end of it (no more pain from this story i swear)  
> And yes, i fixed some tags and changed the name cause of this new chapter (btw this work used to be called "Please, Never Fall In Love Again")


End file.
